Catharsis, according to Wikipedia, is a Greek word that is about cleansing or purging. After a relationship, no matter how short or long, it is important to purge yourself of the other person. It helps clear your mind and allows you to see the opportunities and gifts you already have around you. I will point out that I would qualify your relationship time as the time you spent emotionally involved. So for instance if you had a crush on a guy for a month and then dated for a month, I would count this as two months based on your emotional involvement.
One night stand (1-11hrs): Take a shower, man up, get on with your life and try again next weekend. No really, if you met a guy on a weekend then your chances of anything past this are slim to none. Hopefully, you already are a big girl and knew this. If he didn’t stay or didn’t take you to a meal then you’re SOL my friend.
Short Relationships (12hrs- 1 month): Most of us are likely to, even after one or two dates, have some type of attachment to a person barring that they don’t completely suck. So if this thing isn’t gonna work then I suggest drinking some wine or shots, whatever your style, have a night with the girls and then on to the next one.
Medium/Long Relationships (2 months – 1yr): Cry. Now I am not much of a crier but sometimes allowing those emotions to catch in your body is not healthy. Sometimes it is necessary to put on some depressing as shit music and just ball your eyes out. It is also important to view this relationship as a learning experience and LEARN from it. I would also suggest taking some time off from the dating game, you can’t really move
on if half your thoughts are still about someone else. Plus let’s be real, is that really fair to the new person? Would you want to date someone who was still thinking about their ex? Hell no. Rule of thumb: take a quarter of the time you dated this person off from dating other folks. (1 year = 3 months off)
Personally, I just balled my eyes out yesterday. I had a long term relationship and we broke up in January. I have been off and on with other people since then but nothing long term until my current situation (see previous). Yesterday, I just got caught up by the fact my ex sent me a message that just said ‘I hate you’ and some other crap coming together in my head. So what did I do? I listened to some sad songs, cried, calmed down and cried again. It sucked and I am sure I looked like a hot mess, but you know what? This morning I was able to be productive and move past emotional land because of releasing the emotions and not holding on to them.
Try it… It helps, and if you don’t want to have someone hear you, cry in the shower. Plus then you don’t get snot on everything
P.S. If you’re that girl that decides the time for Catharsis is at the bar then I will mock you. After 22, if you are crying in a bar you need to grow the fuck up.